Hey there online friends! It’s been a while. Actually a LONG while! So sorry about that. Truth be told, things have been a little crazy the past couple of months. Life is so weird like that. It throws you curveballs right when you are in the middle of something important, and you just have to learn how to deal! At least that is what the last several months have felt like for me.
On my hiatus from writing I have been learning a lot and tonight I thought I would share a little tiny shred of truth that God has been teaching me. Honestly, the spectrum of growth is pretty vast. I have learned so much about how I function in both big and small ways. Everything from how I give and receive love and my Enneagram personality type, to why I hate cleaning my room and don’t like hanging up clothes. But the biggest take away I have experienced the last couple of months is learning who God says I am, his love for me because of what Jesus did on the cross, and how I respond to Him. The thing is I COMPLETELY understand that this is nothing new! It’s ironic how that always seems to be the case. Life never throws something at you that someone else out there in the world hasn’t already faced or gone through and lived to share their knowledge.
I feel like God’s love for us seems like such a simple thing to realize, easy to say, and is said all the time in the Christian vernacular, yet it is so profoundly huge. It is something that I used to take lightly and not quite understand, and now I can’t take any other posture then complete gratitude. You see, I have spent most, if not all of my young adult life not really grasping the greatness of God’s love or my need for it. I knew that he sent Jesus to save me and I was appreciative, but I didn’t think I needed THAT much saving. I got the good grades, worked really hard, had good morals and loved the Lord. And honestly, it worked out pretty well for me for a while. Boastful, I know. Welcome to the very imperfect side of me. Even though I was always taught that being a good person doesn’t get you to heaven, only God’s grace; it still stuck with me that maybe just maybe, if I really worked hard and did all the right things, Jesus would give me what I wanted in life. The truth is, I don’t think I have ever been more wrong.
God has really been showing me how much I am in need of a Savior. He has revealed to me so many harsh parts of my heart and life where I have put my trust in everything BUT Him. In the refining process there has been some stripping away and changes in my perspective, in order to uncover a lot of junk. Oh, how hard that process is; and totally not fun. During this time, He has revealed my idols of comfort, control, and approval, and more than that, God has shown me how much I desperately need him. He has shown me that when He sent Jesus to come down from heaven, live a perfect life, die a death he didn’t deserve and raise from the grave, he made him my only lasting security.
How simple, yet incredible the Gospel is! Without my Jesus paying the ultimate price for me, there would be absolutely no way I would make it to heaven. And trust me, I have spent my whole life trying to measure up so that I could. But man how glad I am that I don’t have to depend on myself for my salvation. I’m looking upon this precious gift with fresh eyes, and I am overjoyed that when God looks at me, he looks through the cross; and his perfect son first. 1 Corinthians 3:11 says “ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one that is already laid which is Jesus Christ”. No works, merit, love, acceptance, good deeds, smiles, positive attitudes, or perfect performances can be the foundation. Only Jesus.
I think this year I was truly meant to learn this. For some, it seems as though everything has to be stripped away before we realize the true colors of our hearts. Before our telling emotions reveal our innermost self. And for others, it’s an easier lesson. Learning and growing in your faith looks different for everyone. No one has the same exact story.
You might be figuring out life too. And sorry to burst bubbles, but no one really ever has it completely figured out anyway. You might be struggling to understand your situations right now and think it’s such a cruel joke. You might be cruising right along content with where God has you but eager for more. Or you might be singing praises for where you are and the blessings bestowed upon you. Wherever you are in life, know that you are not alone. Other’s have felt the same, fought the same, and rejoiced the same. Know that Jesus loves you, immensely. Know that you don’t have to measure up, because there is no way that you can and find so much joy in that! Root and remind yourself of the gospel, every single day. Because yes, it really does take that type of effort. Daily taking up your cross, releasing the foundations and idols of this world and resting in Jesus. And what is built upon him and for him, will always stand.
PSA: Here is a picture of my puppy. Just because she is absolutely the best thing that has happened to me this year! I love her!